I have been so busy the last few months that I have not given much thought to the website.
Feeling really guilty about that, I reread some of my previous embarrassing posts; hung my head in shame; decided against cutting off both of my typing index fingers and instead I am doubling down “Trump Style” and re-posting this one that I wrote in 2012.
At the time, I was feeling that people in the wine business will believe anything – their own press and PR – high scores – low scores – MW’s – MS’s – wine magazines – bio-dynamics – terroir – natural wine – pick your crazy. Its just like picking a candidate in this election cycle. Nothing much has changed although nowadays, dealing with wine people is even more like a date with the Continental.
Guy du Vin’s Top Five Things That Suck All the Life Out of Wine
5. Twitter/Facebook –In the words of William Deresiewicz, “we’re all peddling ourselves and managing our own brands.”
Chelsea Staub – It’s All About Me – Listen Here
4. Wine Marketing – The “Story” is more important than the wine – Every wine, winery, vineyard, tractor, and pair of pruning shears has a story that must be told! What I would really like to read about is a producer that uses Roundup as an imaginative method for permanently lowering labor costs while avoiding overcropping; who decides when to harvest by throwing a dart at a calendar; who picks his grapes using illegally imported child labor equipped with butter knives and Ninja Assault Nuns and then macerates and ferments in empty unwashed barrels of WD 40.
3. Straw Men and the Magazines, Newspapers, and Editors that Print Them – Stories like this one are so misleading and unhelpful I don’t even know how they get into print. Toss in ginned up polemics on the so called natural wine movement and Biodynamics and it’s just like “wrestling the wax chipmunk”- if you know what I mean.
2. Serious Business – Would the five people in the wine business that actually have a sense of humor please speak up.
1. Sommeliers – Things have not gotten better over the years. Sommeliers are just younger, less experienced, and less open to anything that hasn’t received some sort of peer approval. They all tend to validate my inherent mistrust of strangers. Listening to an insufferable bore can be entertaining for some – but most of us would much rather be water boarded while viewing Nyan Cat or perhaps even better – watching a bored predator drone pump a few rounds into the next meeting of the Sommelier’s Club – preferably on a day when I am not in attendance.