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The Official Third Annual Guy du Vin Thanksgiving Haiku Competition:
The Final Chapter
It is with great sadness and a deep sigh of reprieve that we announce that The Guy du Vin 3rd Annual Thanksgiving Haiku Competition has been cancelled due to an excess of submissions that are a little too sweet, a little too cute, and a lot too clever. In short, we at Guy du Vin - even through our wine induced stupor - have finally grasped that there is no difference between bad haiku and good haiku. To achieve memorable badness is not easy and the right combination of lofty ambition, humorless self-confidence, and obtuse incompetence is worth one's eye teeth. Not surprisingly, we have an abundance of this talent here in the good ol' USA - particularly in government.
But the real reason is:
Counting syllables
Has never been my strong suit
So much for haikus
This is our small effort to help stop the scourge of haiku, before more lives are exposed. Think of the children. Remember, early signs of haiku infection include increased self-absorption and tea consumption.
Every Thanksgiving, we update this article on pairing wine with Thanksgiving dinner. There are no hard and fast rules, just some general guidelines that you may find useful. We swear that there really are only 6 to 8 wine and food pairings in the whole world that are perfect. Unfortunately, Thanksgiving dinner is not one of them. But that is no reason that you can't open up a bottle or two of wine that you enjoy to taste and experiment and share with those members of your family with whom you are still speaking.
Guy du Vin Thanksgiving Dinner Wine and Food Pairing Guidelines
Rule #1 No matter which wine you pick for Thanksgiving, it will not work perfectly with everything you serve (unless you serve only one dish - in which case you may skip all of the following rules). The reason for this is that there are dozens of flavor combinations spread on the average traditional Thanksgiving table. The turkey, the cranberry sauce, the potatoes - all probably call for a separate wine. Also, keep in mind that the dinner at grandma's house is going to taste quite different from the dinner that your Aunt Shanda Lear might serve. (Especially if Aunt Shanda's idea of traditional Thanksgiving dinner includes Chili Fries, Slim Jims and a Moon Pie.) You might consider serving a wine that is a personal old favorite or perhaps you may just decide to match up a single dish or two.
Rule #2 No matter what you read in the newspaper or in food and wine magazines, roast turkey is hard to pair with wine. Turkey often makes your wine taste metallic; especially wines that are tannic and astringent (like cabernet sauvignon). Wines that emphasize fruit and that are generally fuller bodied tend to work better.
Rule #3 Avoid serving your wine at too cool a temperature. Cooler temperatures tend to reduce a wine's fruity element, which is what blends so well with Thanksgiving flavors.
Rule #4 Due to the renewal of the Homeland Security Act, rule #4 is still classified Secret(Don't worry - we don't torture!)
Rule #5 In general, avoid wines with extremely high alcohol levels (above 13.5 %). Wines with high alcohol tend to taste a little unbalanced and can easily overpower food.
Rule #6 If it fits your budget, open a number of wines and let your guests choose the one they prefer. This takes the pressure off of you and the wine (unless you are the type of person that tends to make "groups" of bad wine choices rather than "individual" bad wine choices).
In general, you are better off keeping your extra special wines for another occasion - like the day after Thanksgiving when all the guests are gone.
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